the house
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prologue: fate
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what are we but in some novel
we are but characters characterised
puppets in fact, with wooden performances
the doctor is heartless, gutless, so on:
he's got no person about him
what is life but acts and scenes
bought some books so myself is going to read them
but what made myself buy the books;
and what actions will become of myself afterwards
fifty thones: there's the plot to make blood run

chapter one: beyond the veil
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water runs black in those minds of ours
we must keep up our appearances;
gate painted black; bricks clean, so on
my mother opens the door with just her dressing gown on
flowers have lots of vanity and little modesty
the window: they are involved in daylight: outrageous
perfectly ordinary; perfect strangers;
but we are strangers even to ourselves
myself is the cloth to clean brickwalls;
quite irretrievable

ah, where would we be without quotes:
myself often misquotes myself:
'death is but the last act of glory'
the smell of wet wipes are iconic
myself lacks awareness: how cruel
muffins and orange juice watching the news:
'the prime minister has given more funding to'
and all of those droll things
takeaway on the sofa watching the film:
'so what, so plenty, myself loves you'

consequences: flowers and lace; sin is red
"what is the point" 'what myself is saying'
justice policy is what myself says it is
consequences: those damnable things
morning: cheese and ham toastie:
'you cannot be free'
evening: cereal:
'it's nonsense; utterly random: it's poor art'
prints in frames of watercolour flowers, quotes, so on:
'be yourself, if you find yourself that is'

men are brutes: they are tanks;
women are flowers: they are banknotes
figures playing with the water sprinkler:
soapy water falls over skin in sunshine
ice cream with strawberries: how horrid
ribs, steak, burgers, so on
love has its limits; lust is cheap
spring to spring: everything has its limit
rain is disliked of course,
myself likes the frost, the cold, the night

myself used to sleep with my mother all the time:
myself awakes and there are birds in the background;
she has this wet dog smell mixed with lavender
she breastfeeds myself from extra large nipples
at night, myself overhears sexual matters,
with air passing out of her vagina the highlight of the house
she enters my bedroom:
she vomits into the bin: vivid red very slimy,
she goes on top of myself,
pouring everywhere snot: sickly green very slimy

thick red candles; rose petals; vinyl player
in the drawer: the centerpiece: extra large black dildo
whenever the window cleaer appeared she would masturbate:
wand massager pretending to read with the curtains open
after night out, myself undresses her:
artificial female genitalia inside her genitalia
myself in school uniform giving the man mouth things
how myself wishes myself had female genitalia
it's always the same: pub then bedroom;
superstructure in substructure

chapter two: puppets
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my mother is iconic and has her reputation:
her blonde hair in curls,
her deep blue eyes,
large breasts with large areolas,
curvy: her abdomen goes over her pubis,
and her puffy pubis goes over her very hairy vulva;
feet and armpits always sweaty as she never washes;
she has extra large features:
her clitoris is very prevalent when standing;
her anus is very dark and very large, and of course messy

myself is very skinny with very small genitalia:
permanently wears chastity: black disc
everyone knows that myself is within chastity
lots of smegma and pre ejaculate
makeup is an emblem of civilisation
monorail station toilet bin: that's the spirit;
nothing to criticise at all
we are being attacked; every second is war
nightclub versus the room of war
defeat is victory

chapter three: scenes
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myself in sexy maid outfit:
chastity black disc; nappy, so on
cooks: sourdough bread, white eggs, orange juice;
cleaning: mother's drawer
answering letters: being most polite
washing: my mother's very dirty underwear
shopping: extra large balck dildo
changing nappies: irony
the black padding hits my scrotum; ruined orgasms
this is normal

chapter four: scenes [expanded]
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forest centre: my mother wears her outfit:
sheer top, exposing her impressive breasts,
wet creamy patch on her front
the brown line at the back
toilets: she gives herself to some stranger;
they use her utterly, in their very wicked way
throughout the run, myself wants her desperately
[white sticky] semen completely fills her vagina;
because no one wants watery semen in there
defeat is victory

forest park: camping at night, the silence is awful,
what are we meant to do, lay there, listen to our breathing:
no, myself says, sexual matters, of course
camping in the morning, naked except for chastity: black disc;
playing with naked children with brightly coloured water bombs;
with soapy water inside; over our naked bodies
festival, the singer removed her gown,
bonfire: some man pulled down my mother's leggings,
and did things, how envious myself is;
finger, fist, inside her vagina

the darkness, the coldness, the silence;
then myself heard the unzipping of the tent:
bony fingers over my scrotum: it's now empty
then this terrible sound; then the sound of squelching
heavy breathing, moaning, then it stops
in the morning: she's heavily pregnant;
myself has turned into some woman;
at birth; it permanently loosened her vagina immensely
artificial female genitalia in her genitalia
but the baby was beyond wonderment: beyond beauty

those women are truly maddening:
'the price of butter has increased: it is shocking'
myself eats my salmon slices thinking:
surely better things should be talked about
but no all we get is the small scale
those men are tanks in human form:
'her body was corpse like; but myself still did her'
oh how awful fate has been to myself
they are so one dimensional; they lack depth
oh how the critic drones on about depth

boys on bikes:
they are young, sweaty, rude:
'hey look at this sissy'
myself thinks: go away you unloveable rogues
they pull down my clothes, to attack my genitalia;
red to purple: they are rascals, they are for sure
myself gives them my money: myself is so timid
they take my companion; they do her very wickedly
herself heavily pregnant;
the baby came out pitch ebony

arctic roll; this happens very often as so it should
'it's started to snow' and other such droll things
four in the afternoon is the time for tea and biscuits
the coldness, the silence; it's the hallmark of death itself
the maddening crowd compared to the truly maddening not much
again, the silence: her very clean underwear,
versus my mother's very dirty underwear in the wash basket
myself licking discharge: what about 'the after'
'the after'; is something;
and it is that that myself get to

the boys are horrid; they put things inside there
such as barbecue sauce and the like
the girls giggle of course; of course they do
the boys pull down my clothes in front of the girls;
the girls kiss the boys in front of myself
the women are so far from myself, so are the men;
flowers and tanks; how far myself is from them
the boys kick the daffodils;
the girls quote literature
myself eats the ice cream

epilogue: self portrait
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this is the end
and what merry ending it is;
with all out puppets still alive;
that's of course some dig at some author:
where the main character died: poor authorship;
but that's not the point though
what is there to do when we have eaten the ice cream
with the stick of chocolate of course
reread like someone or author like someone
do not be sad; for sadness would be misplaced